jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
