I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
