i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
can u get pink eye on your cock?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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