her facebook's as public as her vagina
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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