Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
