question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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