If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
