make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
