VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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