Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You smell like stripper and shame
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
