The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
