I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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