where does the pee come out of this thing
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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