I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
