dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
