Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
