I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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