Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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