I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i out mim tonsoeep
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