so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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