some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
