i permit you to call me
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
