Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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