she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
