So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
