just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
