i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
