So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
