i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
