Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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