I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
did i just pee glitter
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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