remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
