I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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