Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
