do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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