Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
