I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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