I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
