Someone shit on the floor
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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