Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
