Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
