He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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