ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
