I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
