he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
