WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
sick fucks of a feather flock together
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
we should paint friendship bongs
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
