I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
