There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
