At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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