Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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