We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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